The Breathline Chronicles – Initiation

Initiation

The last six months I have been studying the Codex Universalis Principia Mathematica, a book by Robert Edward Grant that consists of three manuscripts on Harmonic Realization, based on the language of the Universe … math.

This has led me along a wholly unexpected path, which will unfold over several posts. And while it may seem nonsensical in basis from this post, I promise to make every effort to bring it to clarity by the end of some future post. Meantime, this is where I am at now but it all began six months or longer ago ….

Traveling by cruise ship has never been on my bucket list, but then never say never. A dear friend of mine received a terminal diagnosis and as she has no family and a few friends who are not interested in going on a cruise, she was a bit desperate to travel to foreign places before she couldn’t travel at all.

I said okay, I will go. As she is terminal she also has many medical issues which affect her memory, her mobility and day to day life. I told myself this will be okay but quickly found that I was overwhelmed with doing most of the detail work to prepare for the voyage to Athens, Egypt, Cyprus, Rhodes, Turkyia, Croatia, Italy, and Crete and more.

I love this person and we have karmic ties that we have discovered over the years of our friendship. We regularly talk to our guides about each other and since she is a trance channel I get to talk to her guides and relay their information to her since she doesn’t remember much from her channeling.

One such instance her guides told us that this trip was a Grand Voyage across Ley Lines that we have traveled before. We both got excited. The guides said it was going to be a cycle completion. That is cool, right?

Plans were made months ahead and regular life as a Threshold Guardian to the Palatial Cave, Emissary to the Crystal Beings and all the 3D-4D life stuff filled in the spaces. I got the idea that since I was traveling to ancient sacred spaces I have an opportunity to do shamanic ceremony at each place and collect a stone to bring back to the Palatial Cave and the Crystal Pit to tether the fields of these sacred and ancient places. I would take my ancestral mesa to carry the stones back home.

That said the Grand Voyage became a stressor rather than a vacation. Many small inconveniences between my friend and I meant that we did not spend much time together on the ship or off. Different lifestyles aside, her health was not conducive to the activities we had planned off ship.

I still managed to do ceremony with the mesa and new stones collected at each Port of Call. I told my friend before the trip started that I felt I was entering an Initiation. Neither of us knew if it was connected to the cycle completion mentioned by the guides.

I stepped onto the ship but the real journey began long before. I could feel that. Despite the contrasts with my friend I was being called. I was not traveling I was being pulled.

My friend unfortunately became ill midway through the voyage. She was bedridden and I went on excursions ashore by myself. I was exhausted from holding neutrality in our difficult living situation, walking a lot to get out and see the new places and unsuccessfully seeking out appropriate places on the ship to meditate at least once a day.

I would go days without even one meditation. I normally would meditate at home at least twice a day – every day.

Oddly, it was also strangely stressful to be confined with 2000 other people and having to do things alone. I love being alone; I really do. But this experience put a twist on it.

Anyway, we finally arrived in Trieste Italy, a port very near Venice. I went ashore to explore the Postojna Caves in Slovenia with a group of about 20 people. This was an excursion my friend and I had signed up for months before the trip started and we both look back on it and wonder what we were thinking. I don’t like confined places and she (if she had gone along) would not have been able to walk the hour walk out of the caves.

This excursion was posted as strenuous. Our ‘small’ group joined an extremely large group of about 30 loud and boisterous middle school age Slovenians. Once I boarded the little ‘Disneyesque’ train into the cave I began to wonder why I went ahead and did this excursion?

The irritation I was feeling for most of the trip was being shown to me in many ways as we traveled into the giant cave but I did not pick up on what was being mirrored to me. The Codex speaks to this idea of the mirror and how it is always showing each of us the harmony or disharmony in ourselves.

And so it began. I was about half-way through the hour walk, taking pictures of the stalagmites and stalactites when I put my arms down and noticed I was all alone. Weird. What happened? Where is everyone?

I hustled along the steep ups and downs of the wet but paved trail. I could hear my group and was trying to catch up. But, I couldn’t move very fast. I felt disoriented.

I began to strive harder and couldn’t catch my breath – wait, what is going on? I stopped to rest when another group came along and the clueless leader told me to keep up with my group and they passed me by.

Okay, I will try harder. I began to panic a bit because I couldn’t seem to move any faster and I began to take in only half-breaths. I could only exhale just as I was going down into the previously announced dark tunnel. I was completely alone and in the dark. I stopped mid-way when another group leader came by and asked if I needed help.

With tremendous difficulty I said I was having a panic attack. She jumped into action; she appointed someone to stand right beside me (an angel for sure), she had someone else get help and a wheelchair, she took my heavy backpack and sat me on the wet slimy trail.

I could not breathe and began to wheeze and writhe a bit. I was not in control. I was watching myself but I was not out of my body.

Wheeling me out on a rickety chair with bockety wheels was strenuous I’m sure but the young man (another angel) was steadfast. He had to get me to the train out of the caves before it left. Once on the train I began to kind of come around and settle down. I could breathe and not once was I ever in pain.

I had called on all my guides and angels and I closed my eyes as the train rocked back and forth out of the caves. The cave was not outside me, it was inside me.

In the wheel chair again I was reunited with my group but it was two hours before I was back to the ship. I met two more angels who helped me across the 800 meters to the ships gangway. They escorted me to medical and stayed until my friend arrived.

My oxygen was below 20%. The ships doctor told me I did not have a panic attack; She surmised, I threw a blood clot (from a months earlier blunt force trauma to my right shin) causing severe respiratory distress and I was being medically disembarked to a local Italian hospital.

During the ambulance ride to the ER I kept thinking, I have had no pain, I can breathe okay now, what in the world is going on? Nine hours in the ER and about 12 different doctors and just as many (mis)diagnosed conditions.

I kept refusing to believe what each doctor would tell me. I was not going to let them condition me into believing that something was wrong. I didn’t know why I thought that I just did.

At one point a doctor told me I would be intubated. I was sitting up breathing fine though my oxygen was low and I said emphatically, No!

Language wasn’t a barrier it just slowed communications down. I began to listen very carefully to what they told me. I also used the phone translator when necessary.

I was told I had some kind of infection but they don’t know what it is. They did a CAT scan which I learned later, showed absolutely nothing.

I was put in a full face oxygen mask and the conflicting diagnoses continued. But I ran my LightWave energy and many many guides and galactics came to offer assistance. I never felt alone that night.

After about 32 hours they took the mask off and said, “you healed too quickly” which means you don’t have an infection but the cardiologist wants to see you. I heard in my head … ‘you are going to the underworld’. Great.

It was time to really check in with myself. The pace of the ER and the seclusion of the oxygen mask created a separation by distraction that didn’t really exist. What is the mirror showing me? So I tuned in as I steeled myself for the underworld.

Taken to another floor, I was met by a young heart doctor who spent an hour examining my heart. She concluded, ‘there is nothing critical here’. I said ‘great, I can go home’.

The next four days the pressure to surrender my sovereignty continued. I consistently said no but it came to a climax when I refused an invasive procedure. But no one bothered to tell the young female surgeon who bopped into my room and announced she would be performing this procedure.

I told her I’m not having that procedure and she actually yelled at me and said, ‘Why’?!! After many minutes of listening to her reasoning I stopped her and assured her that ‘I’m sure she has skill and knowledge but I have my body wisdom. I decide what happens to my body.’

I thought she was going to go apoplectic but it didn’t matter to me. I decide, not her or anyone else. Again, this was an automatic response from me. I put no forethought into it.

There was a lot of stonewalling from the doctors. The nurses and the technicians all tried to talk me into this procedure. I prevailed with, “this is my body.”

I was asked to give up my breath. I chose to keep it.

This, was the Initiation. I passed the test. Through the guides I learned that in other lifestreams I had allowed others to choose what to do with my body, with my breath (in life or death situations) and I did it enough times to create a karmic loop that needed to be collapsed and rebuilt. My Higher Self had my back.

I left the hospital and it took days to get home with numerous delays and reroutings. The whole time in the hospital my blood pressure was through the roof (though not one doctor talked to me about this issue). Which was another mirror showing manipulated information. When I got home I took my blood pressure before I even took my shoes off. It was normal.

This was not a journey. It was a spiral. Not a trip across oceans, but a descent into the cave of my own breath. I was not traveling—I was being called. And when the cave closed around me, it was not stone. It was memory. I was asked to give up my breath. I chose to keep it. That was the initiation. Not the voyage, not the relationship with my friend, not the ceremonies, not the stones. But the moment I said: “This is my body. This is my breath. I decide.” I did not survive the spiral. I completed it. And now, I return—not as I was, but as I am. The integration will come. The breath will guide it. And the cave will remain open—inside me.

What about my friend and our cycle completion? And the Integration of this Initiation? That is another story which I will share soon. What is your life mirroring to you? Because it is all important, all of it.

Embrace the Mystery.