Breathline Chronicles – Integration Shmintegration

Long time coming but I am finally ready to close out this Breathline Chronicle. Please note this is the fourth and intended final post on this subject. If you have not read the previous three posts I recommend you start HERE.

We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know

We Don’t See What Was There All Along

Details Details

And so I have been home for almost six months. I am very healthy both physically and emotionally. Mentally I am still in a bit of a quandary but that is my modus operandi; I’m usually up in my head asking questions, nothing new there.

So things are normal and there is a feeling that there is nothing more to integrate regarding the event in the Postojna Caves, the stressful days leading up to the Cave visit and the week-long stay in the Italian hospital. Well … integration, shmintegration.

It is not always possible to resolve to satisfaction.

When I told my friend before the trip that I felt like I was going into an Initiation, I had only a surface idea of what that might be. The guides love to say that humans are spiritually like kindergartners. Does that mean we are enthusiastic simply because we have no idea what lay ahead?

It feels about right considering the process I went through. Alice Bailey, renown (and prolific) Theosophist said: “Initiation is essentially a moving out from under ancient controls into the control of more spiritual and increasingly higher values. It is an expansion of consciousness which leads to a growing recognition of the inner realities.”

Well that works for me; I felt the need to assert my sovereignty when pushed but I had to be removed from the lifetimes habit of not speaking up for myself (ancient controls).  I have become more sensitive to a need to truly care for myself and if that is my “inner realities” being recognize it is a win.

Any lower personal desires, known and unknown, are actually the ancient controls Bailey is talking about. This is karma, illusion and even instinct. While changing a bad habit can be consciously difficult, what is actually a lower personal desire is not always apparent to us.

I had agreed to do a cruise which I didn’t want to do (idiot compassion). After discovering that there was an opportunity to complete a tiny loop in my karma with my friend, I was determined to go (ego?). This may debase my agreement to travel, which would perhaps create a rite of passage or some sort of elevation.

The lack of forethought on the personal arrangements brought home the investment I made to the journey. I created a kind of bubble around all sticky issues by projecting the importance of the trip onto the transformation of the whole trip into a ceremony.

The ceremony was real and it was successful – but I gave it so much importance in my mind and to my esoteric induction into higher mysteries (I was going to some of the most powerful Power Spots on the planet) that I allowed myself to diminish my sacred space and overlook my necessary personal needs.

The simple act of daily meditation may have resulted in an entirely different trip but the guides assure me that I would have gone through this sort of initiation somehow, sometime, somewhere, if not the Postojna Caves. The whole event could have been completely different!

The fact that I had an opportunity to circle back on a karmic agreement from a past life with my friend had nothing to do with the Breathline event. That epiphany has taken the longest to accept.

We can walk through our lives unaware. We … well, I thought I knew what I was doing. Hello hospital from hell.

The trials on this journey were deeply personal and have allowed a better view of successive stages of knowing. And that is not said with tongue in cheek because truly, we don’t know what we don’t know. The more I learn the less I know – as the saying goes.

On the collective level on this journey I intended to tether energies from Power Spots to my home sacred space, not to release Ancestral Grief. I did not set out on this massive traveling ceremony to heal Collective Feminine Wounding but apparently that is what happened.

And to be clear it is not ALL Ancestral Grief or ALL Feminine Wounding. This relates to energies that are beyond this three-dimensional thought process. I make no heroic claim here because each one of us, each one, is responsible for this work and we all do it in different ways for the Oneness and then it is time to do the dishes.

When I say, I didn’t enter a cave, a cave entered me, I am reinforcing the transformation that occurred within this lifestream and another lifestream I do not remember, that represents rebirthing of contracts long agreed upon. That is the breathline and that is way more esoteric than I thought I could ever be or do or imagine!

That is the becoming. The commencement, so to speak.

There is more, much more but for now I listen to the wind chimes. I make time for quiet reflection gazing out the window. I am grateful for the dirty dishes. I love that I don’t know.

Details. Details. Details.

From here I move forward.

Embrace the Mystery.